HDIFA:
Pain

I am a gardener to weed
And dig about the heart;
To plant therein the pregnant seed,
And watch, with many a smart,
The stem and leaf and blossom rise,
Alternate to supply
The victims for the sacrifice,
And, for the fruit, to die.

January 1895 (p. 145, Life, Death and Similar Themes: Joy and Sorrow)

Dear Walter your most endearing quality today was longing to know me.
LOVE

The gardener to the weed is Christ. That is who determines exactly what should be cultivated in our hearts. If there are weeds (distractions) then we have a harder time listening to Christ as he gardens upon our heart. So we must have a sense of well being with those who we choose to associate, and if there are people who distract our attention away from the lord, than we must evaluate that relationship. That is what marriage encounter and specifically Mary W has done in my life. For three years I have tried to ignore her jabs and quips and take that noble step above the personal, but it was to no avail because with every encounter she would supply more wicked words, morewicked sentiments, and that has clouded my listening skills to Christ.
That has left me feeling an agony and a pain. This feeling subsides when our life is centered together on Christ and our family.

The pain I feel is like having someone slap me and offering them again the other cheek and having them slap that one as well. It goes on and on without a matter of recourse.

This pain is like tasting a fresh hot pepper and not being prepared with an antidote.

This pain is like hearing someone scratching their fingernails on a chalk board. It stifles me.

Walter I love you and our marriage. Lets pray.